hello out there....

I ran across this thought tonight and LOVE it!!!

Insomnia support

Ok so I suffer from horrible insomnia... due to anxiety... i remember even as a child having a hard time sleeping at night. There is a CD I just heard about... check it out if you can... called NEW Lullaby.....

Go here:
http://www.amazon.com/Lullaby-Larget-Caplan-Orlando-whistle-humming/dp/B003MSRBPO%3FSubscriptionId%3DAKIAJHRTPSXT6R43XRYA%26tag%3Dwinnokiamobil-20%26linkCode%3Dxm2%26camp%3D2025%26creative%3D165953%26creativeASIN%3DB003MSRBPO
 to see it...it is suppose to be awesome!!

IF you can't sleep don't count sheep count your blessings!!!
always!
HOPE

 I found this post from a blog on surviving sexual abuse or any abuse. It looks like a book I want to get now! :)
ALWAYS
HOPE!

Damaged Goods
I discovered early in life that my life’s purpose is to help people. Because of my own abusive past, I specifically felt a calling to help others heal from sexual and physical abuse.
I don’t remember exactly when my own abuse started, I do remember being about three or four years old and my mother had divorced my father who stopped communicating with us and disappeared from our lives. I grew up always wondering where was he in all this that he could’ve helped me?
After divorcing my father, my mother almost immediately remarried and moved us away to a different state, and it was about age four that I remember my Pentecostal step-father began to touch me and my older sister in ways that felt “funny”. Even at such a young age, I remember the feeling of “this is wrong.” That feeling of “something is wrong” in the mind of an abused child later turns into “there is something wrong with me.” As early as seven years old, my step-father would hold a knife to my throat as he would violate me. He would take me to remote cemeteries and make me get out of the car as I would run after him begging him not to leave me. When he would finally come back to get me I was supposed to be “grateful.” So at a very young age, I learned to stuff down my tears and put on a very brave face because I was literally psychologically terrified.
My mother was abusive, physically and emotionally. Having both Borderline and Narcissistic Personality Disorder tendencies, she was always the queen of guilt trips and even as she would beat or berate us, she had this amazing capacity to turn it around and make it our fault, “why had we done this to her, made her get to this point of hurting us?”
By the age of nineteen, after only knowing a whole life of abuse, I was done with this world. I felt alone, unloved, and abandoned. I even felt that God had left me, that if He cared about me, why would He let all these horrific things keep happening to me? I had literally no reason to think anything would ever be different. I was the ultimate victim.
I decided I was going to kill myself.
I was walking along the side of a road in the pouring rain and a truck pulled up offering me a ride. I immediately told the driver no and began walking faster. He handed me a red umbrella and said, “God loves you.” I took the umbrella and didn’t even respond. I was crying even more, choked up with emotion, and utterly shocked. What I had needed so desperately, just some human kindness, just manifested from a complete stranger.
God sent that particular man with a red umbrella to let me know even when I felt abandoned by the world, God was there. He made that message known through a very persistent stranger through a random act of kindness. God hand delivered me- “me”, a rejected, abandoned, hopeless, broken, wounded soul- a personal message in the form of a red umbrella.
The actions of that stranger stayed with me and would cause me to do something years later that still kept his random act of kindness “ripple” in motion. I’m finally at a point where I am a happy, whole adult and can share my story of hope with others. I now carry umbrellas in my car with me to continue the ripple effect that was created so long ago and hand them out to strangers in the rain and let them know they are not forgotten. I wrote a book about my story and share my healing journey with others through the book, websites, and outreach missions for abuse victims to come together to share hope.
My abusive past may have been my beginning but it won’t be my end and what others meant for harm, God has used for good…
Excerpts from the book by Tammy M. Lang, Damaged Goods: Things You Must Know About Healing From Abuse

Question for you... please comment!

If you had all of the magic ingredients to recover now from your struggles what would the recipe be?

questions and answers

WHAT Inspires You!?

Your story...

Please share an inspiring part of your story!!
Comment below.

Question for you... please comment!

Please comment and describe how you have hope in the face of despair! :)

You are a Survivor!!! Be your own Skyscraper....

So... Today was a hard blah day... no reason in particular...just felt sick as I have been sick for the last several weeks. I felt like crying but didn't have a reason to... one of those days where no matter how hard I try to be happy it is a huge fight...
So I was driving to the store today when this song came on...

You can RISE above ANYTHING and BEAT anyone.... whether that be a hard day, infertility, abuse, cancer...ANYTHING!!
Believing in YOU!
HOPE!

Infertility

I heard today from a friends blog.... "Infertile Women are the toughest, strongest and most compassionate women I've ever met." I LOVE IT!
It is true! I have met and know a lot of women that have struggled with infertility and all have inspired me to keep going!
We are all tough and strong and compassionate if we let ourselves be.
ALways...
Hope!

why I blog without sharing my identity...

For safety reason actually... Here is my story...
You can call me hope. I like to think that I am a positive person, someone who loves people and being social. Someone who means well and wants to help others. I have to keep my identity private because I was of several reasons....
1. When I was  about 6 years old I was sexually abused by a man that my family had taken in and considered family. He has threatened my family  as well as my own life. I haven't shared this with everyone that knows me and I prefer to keep it private in that way. According to doctors he caused my infertility and I have been diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure. (POF)
2. My husband and I after being married for 7 years were blessed to adopt our daughter and for her safety I have been asked and feel that I keep it all private.

So I have had a tough life.... a tough road.... but we all do.... I want to make these things a positive if I can. I want to help other people and let them know that they are not alone.
You are not alone!!
Always!
Hope!

You are strong...

Do you ever feel you aren't strong enough or not strong at all? Being a survivor is not easy! I promise you if you can search inside yourself and look past all of the negativity that was placed on you you will see someone strong, and someone worth it! I just realized this recently and as I have accepted this i feel like burdens are being lifted because of it. You are worth it! You are strong! Please see this!
Your never alone!
Hope!

support group

I found some strength recently from supportgroups.com. Check it out there is a support group for about everything you can think of. It is always nice to know that others are there to listen if you feel alone!...
Always a friend
Hope!

You are strong...

Do you feel most days that you can't do it and that you aren't strong enough?
Do you want to cry and hide yourself from all kinds of stuff?

I know you feel like giving up but there is something you must know
You are strong, you are a survivor and it is time for you to show
That you can do things, do hard things that your fears said you couldn't
Say I believe in me, and others even if I think I shouldn't.
You are brave, you are strong, don't let anyone take that from you..
Believe in yourself that you can do it be kind to yourself too.
I know you are sad, your heart hurts and you wish someone could understand
but even when you think they can't they do and they always will...
be your friend, your true friend it is time to shine... you have a lot to offer to yourself so please be kind.
BY: Hemr      (COPYRIGHT 2011)